Deschool Before You Homeschool

After a regular school experience, sometimes you need to deschool before you homeschool your child.

Public school was a total train wreck for my son Quintin. For whatever reason, it just didn't work. He was stressed out, behind in his work, acting out at school and appeared depressed. He would come home and cry. Something had to change.

When I made the decision to homeschool, I had no idea of the process that he would have to go through to make the transition from public school to homeschool.

At first I attempted to have him sit down and do assignments that I had put together. He would immediately become stressed out before he even began the assignment. He would fiddle with his pencil, roll around on the floor, allow himself to get distracted by the birds out of the window, and then he would act skittish when I asked him how it was going. It just didn't work. He slept more than usual during those early days of homeschooling. He ate more than usual. He laid around and read books more than usual. He didn't want to talk much.

Finally, after a few weeks of working with him on schoolwork, I threw in the towel. He needed a 'time out' from school. I learned that you need to deschool before you homeschool.

Deschooling is the process of 'unlearning' the structure, culture, expectations and environmental reactions associated with attending regular school.

First of all, I believe that a child needs some time to 'grieve' the public school experience. Whether school worked well for the child - or they hated it; they will still need to grieve the loss of the children they played with and the teacher they spent most of their days with. I feel that if a child isn't allowed to grieve, they will have a more difficult time transitioning to homeschooling. When you deschool before you homeschool, you allow your child this grieving time.

Next, in public school learning is done on a schedule. For example, math is done at 10:00 and recess is at 10:45. Recess occurs and is mandatory whether or not a child understands or has completed their math. After recess it is then time for a new subject. The undone math is left to be completed at home, the next day, or potentially never.

In homeschooling, we have the option of starting and finishing each lesson during one stretch of time. Students are allowed to take as much, or as little time as they need to complete their work.

It takes time for a child to 'unlearn' this type of scheduled learning. Without a schedule, children have the opportunity to tap into their own needs and exercise them. It takes time to 'forget' the scheduled environment of school and relax into the unstructured self-motivated environment of homeschooling. It is important to deschool before you homeschool.

One of the things that always concerned me about regular school was the amount of time spent 'directing traffic'. What I mean by that is the amount of time it took to line children up for lunch, or recess. Or the amount of time it takes for roll call. Or the amount of time it takes to pass out pencils or collect books. When there are 32 children in the classroom (like in California) this 'housekeeping' takes up a huge amount of time. This becomes 'idle' time for the children. Time that they are unable to do anything. Consequently, it is during these times that most children will act out and get into trouble. This builds frustration in the child. I noticed that after my son came out of public school, that he got frustrated very easily. He would almost 'stop' himself and create those 'idle' times even at home. It took a long time for his frustration to resolve. Yet another reason why it is important to deschool before you homeschool.

I have heard many different ideas on how long your child needs to 'deschool'. However, in my experience, what works best is to allow your child one month, for every grade level year, that they spent in regular school.

So yes, with the exception of field trips, fun activities, household responsibilities and family functions, I left Quintin alone for almost 4 months after he came out of regular school. By the end of the 4 months he was a completely different child. He became talkative, helpful, understanding, generous, motivated, self-directed, mature and calm. After that we started into homeschooling...very slowly.

When you deschool before you homeschool, your will prepare yourself for a positive and fulfilling homeschooling experience.

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